With the news that Selfridges plans to launch London’s first water-only bar, the department store has suggested it will also open the capital’s first bullshit-only bar.
While the H2O bar will be situated in Selfridges’ Accessory Hall, its sister bar will be placed in the Kale-Infused Gym Wear Hall.
In support of the luxury store’s decision, Pierre de Lubois of Norwich, a leading bullshit sommelier, explained that “there are many different types of bullshit, so why shouldn’t we create a bullshit menu?”
Lorenzo Graham, Selfridges’ Head of Marketing, suggested that “to ensure that the bullshit-bar is a success, we plan to consult with several prominent bullshit sommeliers.”
“A number of bullshitting experts, such as Messrs Clinton and Armstrong, are pretty busy right now. Fortunately, 2003’s ‘Bullshit Sommelier of the Year’, Tony Blair, has expressed his interest in the project.”
In other news, George Galloway has admitted that, until now, he had thought ‘Hamas’ was just another word for ‘hummus’.