ISIS hurt that West doesn’t know its name by now


This morning, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, ISIS’ leader, expressed his dismay at “the West’s confusion over what to call [its] caliphate.” Mr al-Baghdadi pointed out that he “officially declared the caliphate’s existence all the way back in 2014 and it’s just plain rude that people still don’t know our name!”

His comments were made in reaction to UK Prime Minister David Cameron’s call for al-Baghdadi’s terrorist group to be referred to as ‘Daesh’ rather than ‘ISIS’.

The terrorist leader asked the West to consider “how you would feel if a somebody spoke about you every day for two years, but still couldn’t say what your name was… You western infidels always bang on about how evil we are, but can’t even make your minds up about what to call us!”

He went on to point out that “we’ve even has the same name 2014, ad-Dawlah al-Islāmiyah fī ‘l-ʿIrāq wa-sh-Shām, so you have no excuse not to know it.”

In other news, UK Defence Minister Michael Fallon has announced his intention to extend the use of airstrikes in Syria to Bradford.

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