In a joint press conference last night, the leaders of the UK’s three main political parties united in defiance against the Islamic State. Despite their political differences, David Cameron, Jeremy Corbyn and Tim Farron came together to announce that “ISIS is a very, very, very bad organisation.”
This revelatory announcement was met with huge applause and enthusiastic cheering from all twelve journalists in the room. The political leaders further demonstrated their magnanimous unity by also agreeing that “the sky is blue”, “the earth is round” and “George Osborne is half vampire.”
In other news, Paris Hilton has thanked all her Twitter followers who have tweeted #PrayForParis in the recent weeks.