Cecil’s cubs react badly to intense press coverage of father’s death

According to local news sources, Cecil the Lion’s two cubs have not taken well to the unrelenting press coverage that their father’s death has attracted.

Marius and Quentin, aged 3 and 5 respectively, have been reluctant to give any interviews relating to the disturbing nature of their celebrity father’s murder. A source close to Cecil’s cubs has said that “the family is still in shock and the numerous news crews stationed outside their house are not helping them to come to terms with Cecil’s untimely death.”

Another source confirmed that the worldwide coverage of their father’s death “has caused his sons further emotional destabilisation.” In the weeks following Cecil’s death, Marius frequently lashed out at cameramen who chose to ignore his plea “to give the family some space”.

Quentin, who completed a spell in rehab for LSD consumption last year, appears to have relapsed as a result of constant press interrogation. One Zimbabwean journalist reported that Cecil’s eldest son responded to his questioning “with an utterly incoherent and threatening growl.”

Our thoughts are with Cecil’s family.


In other news, Transport Minister Andrew Jones has admitted that he originally thought Operation Stack “was another name for Jenga.”

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