Confused Clegg warns of ‘rising seal levels’.

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg took to Twitter this morning to describe how a Liberal Democrat government would do its ‘utmost to mitigate the disastrous effect of rising seal levels.’ In what has been seen as an attempt to steal votes from the dwindling Green Party, the Lib Dem leader urged his followers to recognise that increased seal levels not only damage coastal ecology’, but could also have ‘serious repercussions for the country as a whole’.

However, David Brookes, Professor of Marine Biology at the University of Oxford, has refuted the validity of Clegg’s claim by pointing out that ‘the UK’s seal population is actually declining.’

MP Malcolm Bruce, deputy leader of Nick Clegg’s Liberal Democrat Party, seemed equally bemused. ‘Nick really seems to have gone off on one with this seal malarkey. We had a chat last night about addressing the issue of rising sea levels, but I have no clue where this has all come from.

In other news, UKIP supporters have been spotted wearing tshirts displaying the tagline ‘Je suis Nigel’.

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