Survey: 97% of UK MP’s feel ‘sexually abused’.

A recent survey carried out by the BBC has shown that 97% of UK MP’s feel that they have been ‘sexually abused’ in the halls of Westminster. This news comes just days after Deputy PM Nick Clegg was condemned by the British press for spending the entirety of last week’s PMQ’s with his flies undone.

Communities Secretary Eric Pickles
Mr Pickles

The disturbing results of this investigation into ‘below-the-belt’ occurrences in Parliament have been met with outrage. Prime Minister David Cameron responded to the new figures with disgust, and explained that ‘sexual assault is clearly yet another repercussion of the previous Labour government.’ However, Communities Secretary Eric Pickles refutes the validity of the BBC’s findings. ‘Personally, I have never experienced any form of sexual abuse during my time in politics.’ UKIP leader Nigel Farage was quick to comment that ‘[he is] not surprised.

In other news, Ann Widdecombe has unexpectedly withdrawn from the 2014 London Marathon due to ‘a previous engagement’.

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